Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are like me, then.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

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But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

The sadness was still there.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

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I had run out of hope.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

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When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

And the sadness?

Is it possible that my TF caused a kundalini awakening in another person? He is famous because He is a singer. We have not met physically yet, but I have gone through kundalini awakening and DNOTS and their ongoing. I have also had soul recognition so I know for sure that He is my Divine Counterpart and I do not have any doubts about it. But it is indeed perplexing that somebody had an awakening at the physical level because of Him. Is it a test for me? I have a mixture of feelings. On one hand I marvelled at Him and empathised with the person and on the other, I doubt if this just a test for me. I would appreciate your pov. Thank you for much.

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

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You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

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Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I'm looking for an answer from people who consider themselves "Gender Critical", or transphobic, or TERFs, and my question is this - Why would you refuse to use the pronouns someone wants? What does it cost you? Where's the harm?

It’s still here.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Be who you already are.

Do you think it is likely that Maegor was presented a young dragon at some point, almost to the point of full-bonding, only to scorn it for Balerion in the end? If so, which one could it have been?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s here now, writing to you.

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Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.